Hello, readers! For those of you who have ever felt like “that girl” (or “that guy”) at the gym, this is the post for you!
Yesterday, I completed a rite of passage for any city-dweller: I joined a gym. Now I can say things like, “oh, I know that guy! He works out at my gym,” and, “Oh, there’s that girl from my Pilates class…she’s super judgey,” or even perhaps the most urbanite of all of these, “You know, it’s by that Starbucks across from my gym!”
(note: there actually is a Starbucks across from my gym.)
Today was my first day working out at said gym. I had planned my day out perfectly so I could fit in some much-needed quality time with the elliptical, my cardio machine of choice. Not wanting to leave my possessions in a locker (I had forgotten to bring my own lock…rookie mistake), I decided to “travel light” and carry just my metro card, some cash, my iPhone, headphones, and car keys. I thought I was being so clever, since all of these things fit into the zip pockets of my Patagonia jacket.
By the time I got to the gym, I was totally ready to go. I went upstairs to one of the cardio areas and found the elliptical area almost empty except for two other women. I chose one of the ellipticals, pulled out my iPhone and headphones, and stowed my jacket next to me. I started my workout, and I realized that I had plugged my headphones into the one elliptical with a non-functional TV. Now normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem, but I really wanted to finish watching the rerun of”Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” on E! ahem, sophisticated documentary on the History Channel. So, I moved all of my stuff over to a different elliptical.
I was on it for a few minutes, thoroughly engrossed in Kim’s agonizing decision over which of her three Vera Wang dresses she would wear down the aisle in a ceremony that was almost as long as her actual marriage ahem, the history of Turkey, when I realized I couldn’t remember where I put my iPhone. I have never lost a phone before (knock on wood), and I started getting a little nervous. I looked on the floor around me, checked my jacket pockets twice, walked over and checked all around the previous elliptical I had been on, and even walked over to the water fountain to see if I had absent-mindedly set it down when I was filling up my water bottle. No dice.
Now the full-blown panic was setting in. “I don’t know where the nearest Verizon store is!” “Will I have to buy a new iPhone? I can’t remember what my warranty terms are!” “How will I ever be able to get anywhere without my Google Maps app?” Hoping that I had missed something, I went back to the first elliptical I had been using to take a second look as a last resort. I was just certain that someone had stolen it while I was getting water. You never know in a big, scary city like Washington (at least, that’s what everyone in Atlanta tells me). When all of a sudden, I hear a voice: “Excuse me, ma’am, is that your phone?” One of the women on one of the other ellipticals near me had taken off her headphones and was pointing to the elliptical next to her…where my phone was sitting, right where I had left it. In case you’re as confused as I was at first, let me enlighten you: I had been checking the elliptical I thought I had been using previously, not the one I had actually been using. I muttered a hurried “thank you, must be a Monday thing!” (even though it’s Tuesday, as I remembered as soon as I said it) as she put her headphones back on and smiled awkwardly.
Fortunately, she seemed to be the only person who noticed my gym mishap. I guess it could have been worse: I could have fallen off the elliptical or something, or my phone could have actually been stolen. Instead, I’ll just start making a list of people I can never talk to at the gym.
So maybe now I can add this phrase to my repertoire: “Oh, there’s the girl who reminded me where I put my phone on my first day at the gym.”
Hopefully this won’t be me in the future:
